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ookyungeeoo
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Name: alice
Birthday: 9/16/1985
Interests: drinking water, anything and anyone musical, caffe americano with room, people who make me laugh, sleeping, dancing, playing piano, poker, good music, good movies, good books, good conversations, cold weather, the rockets =), witty-ness, sleeping next to you, pecs and hands, randomness, things that smell good, diet coke, being silly, life
Expertise: sleeping through three alarm clocks, falling on my face in the middle of street, making my own salad at cafe university, ice skating aka gracefully sweeping the floor with my butt, my hands, my face, anything but my feet basically, corny love scenarios, loading the dishwasher, biting my nails, being an awkward person!, getting almost run over by cars
Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
9/14/2002
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| always taken so literally
Azure Ray - November
So I'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone
Now I'm scared thats how I'd like to be
All the faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
And now my sorrow seems to far away
Until I'm taken by these bolts of pain
But I turn them off and tuck them away
Till these rainy days that make them stay
And then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring, once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And I don't think they'll ever go away
Just like thinking of your childhood home
But we can't go back we're on our own
Oh, but I'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I'll find it in myself
So we're speeding towards that time of year
To the day that marks you're not here
And I think I'll want to be alone
So please understand that I don't answer the phone
I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
Until I can see nothing at all
Only particles some fast some slow
All I can see is all I know
i crave daylight and a breath of fresh air.
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| so many people that need saving...
but there are not enough saviors to go around.
i guess that means we can only save each other.
sometimes it's just thank you.
and i'm really craving a jjoo joo ba right now... heh
in my fight against cynicism, somewhere along the way, i've become a cynic
and i've stopped believing in the world's goodness.
i, too, no longer care to be "good," whatever that means.
no, what's important now is to be strong, to be assertive, to be confident, to be independent.
to be good and nice is no longer a priority.
actually, to be good and nice has become a hindrance
somewhere along the way.
i'm just looking for something real, something pure.
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| fate finally managed to caught me off guard. yay fate! your existence, purely and merely, is of great comfort to me. i'm overwhelmed by this journey ahead. i don't know if i'm strong enough, brave enough for this, but i'll jump blind (si c'est avec toi).
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| i had a chance to voice the leftovers... without any enmity at all. well maybe like a microscopic, period-sized bit. just to be able to put it out there, to leave it hanging heavily in the air, weighted by all the unspoken words and months and months of nursing a broken spirit, pride in shambles, hope in rags, heart in scraps... (okay now i'm just relishing in the dramatization), but yeah, to finally, wholly cast off all that, recognized or not, was liberation beyond imagination. i have my faults, i know that best. i am also familiar with crime and punishment. like how there needs to be a crime for a punishment to follow.. thank god it wasn't war; talk about desertation-- i would have been left to die all alone. or to be dragged off by enemies into POW camps to face unspeakable torture, a cruel death, and a public parade of any of my recognizable bodily remnants (oops drama mama's back).
here i go again. using my own pain to write anecdotes. in jest of course. but if we did go for the parade visual, macy's hosted it, of course, thanksgiving was the holiday, but the floats were rather ragged. oh and the desertees watched but were completely oblivious as to what they were witnessing.
i'm (now) neither a stone wall or a balloon (despite what my last entry said). i'm a malleable in-between. not playdough (they harden with exposure). jello? i'm not that transparent. silly putty? that's not serious at all. ticky tac? that's TOO serious (and a bit stubborn). OR just a dork maybe (look at all the lame metaphors and overused parentheses). (lame metaphor) | | |
| I like how you're trying so hard to establish one with me. haha
fragile is a state of heart.
like if cupid were to throw a dart,
in love, is not where i would be
the air would just squeal out of me
and i'd deflate like a balloon.
waiting for Love to call soon
or maybe later, after time
garnering hope along with sighs.
it would spread all over of course
my lungs collapsing with the force
and i'd stop eating because, huh?
i'm busy, love is supposed to call.
but he may never and i won't cry.
i'll tuck my pride under layers and deny
then i'd stop eating just to hide,
disappear and let my shame die
in big bug sunglasses as disguise,
ones to cover my haggard eyes.
oh wait, who have i just described
lionel richie's next-in-line.
so if this is what i am to be
leave me be, why don't you "unni."
thanks for making me burst out in emo kid mode!
and stop being stingy with the eprops.
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